The Dream

1st college friend?! I THINK SO! :D (he’s technically the second, but the first girl doesn’t count) and, we agreed to have a mini birthday party for me. :D

oh my gosh. there is something wrong with me. and i mean seriously wrong with me.

And as soon as I post that last one, I creep his facebook. And, ya know, he has a girlfriend. FML.

Just met (through Facebook) a guy from my college. Freshman. Biology major. And he plays clarinet. God has been listening! :D And a plus, he’s pretty cute! (; CAN’T WAIT TILL COLLEGEEEEEEEE.

I need to be more of a whore. Because every single time a guy talks to me, I get all bubbly and excited and all that jazz. But nothing ever comes out of it anyway. Soooo, maybe if I was more of a whore, I wouldn’t get like this. Random thoughts…

I’m upset and jealous. Sometimes, things people say/do really get to me. And well, I am going to be pretty stationary this entire summer. I’m not going to Europe with my choir, I’m not going to some extravagant vacation, I’m not going on week long college visits, I’m sitting here in my home. And I’m just ranting because I’m upset. I’m happy for those people, I really am, but things like this make me jealous and just utterly mad at the world for the hand that my family has been dealt. I’m so incredibly blessed with the wonderful things I DO have in my life, but I may never see a beach this summer. Or, for that matter, any other water of some sort besides my own pool in my backyard. I want to get out of here. I’m desperate for a relaxing vacation where I can just have fun and NOT worry about money for once in my life. This is really getting to me, it’s pretty bad. But, what else am I supposed to do? I’m not going to be angry at my parents because my dad’s been unemployed for a year and my mother has been working her ass off on double shifts. This is what we got. This is the hand we’ve been dealt, and though I know we are much much fortunate than others, it’s just nice to get away sometimes. Rant. Over.